I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
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