I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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