thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
The feeling are messing with the penis
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
