At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
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