It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
