The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
third nipple confirmed
i believe in u and ur pee
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
Randomize