D3 body, D1 cock
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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