I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
