my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Randomize
