Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Randomize
