goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
