YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
