There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
