i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
