apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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