We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Randomize
