There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
