I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
