my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
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