So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
