I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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