Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
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