We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
