My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize