But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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