Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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