just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
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