Where is the hickey?
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
