You really coming over, don't trick.
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Randomize
