Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
