You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
