i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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