i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
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