the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
My vagina is officially offended.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Randomize
