Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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