But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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