all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
