This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
How does it feel to date your dad?
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
