Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
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