Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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