That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize