I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Randomize
