So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
