i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
my vag is so smooth its legendary
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Randomize