he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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