'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Randomize
