I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
