imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
