4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
