at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
