He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
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