My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
