A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
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