she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
