So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
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