Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
