Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I should be sponsored by Trojan
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
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