absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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